How do I become more confident? A question I’ve been asking myself hundreds of times while staring into my pale reflection in the bathroom mirror, trying to figure out why on earth confidence just doesn’t come natural to me. Cause it doesn’t.
Like most people I have my good days and my bad days. On the good days confidence flows through my body, like a stream of water, pushing me forward and carrying me over any obstacle thrown my way – On the bad days insecurity fills me with despair. I feel trapped in my own body and my inner voice is tearing me apart; “You’re not good enough.”, “You can’t do it.”, “You’ll look stupid.” ect. ect. We all know the ugly words we tell ourselves from time to time. But last week I’d had enough. I simply didn’t want to deal with the self-bullying anymore, and you shouldn’t either!
So I did what I always do in situations I don’t really know how to handle. I turned to my dear friend Google, where I stumbled upon this video called Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are. It’s an twenty-minute long TED talks* video, with the social psychologist, Amy Cuddy. The video addresses, among other things, the issue of lacking confidence and how you can change that with something as simple as your body language. It’s about how you, by straightening your back and taking up a little extra space in the room, can achieve this confidence many struggle to find.
I know many are already familiar with the importance of body language when it comes to how other people look at us – but one of the main points in this video is that body language also plays a huge role when it comes to how we perceive ourselves.
She changes the concept of “fake it till you make it” turns it around and into the concept of “fake it till you become it”, since confidence isn’t about achieving one determine state at one particular time. Instead it is about reaching a point where confidence just is a matter of course – where you believe in yourself and where your inner voice is with you instead of against you – without you even thinking about it.
Throwing away your insecurities and finding your inner confidence takes time and practice – yet you can get a long way towards the confident life with a straightened back and a little smile.
I would really recommend you to either watch or listen to the whole video – you could do it while sitting in the bus, doing the dishes, getting ready in the morning or simply just lying in your bed before you go to sleep. If English isn’t your strong language, the video comes with 45 different subtitles.
The great thing about this video (and other TED talks videos) is, that they’re speeches, meaning that you can chose to listen to the video instead of seeing it – so there’s no excuses. GO WATCH (or listen to) IT!
*TED talks is a great collection of influential videos of speeches from experts within the categories of business, science, tech and creativity.